Red Tape

I have never voiced out my opinion re the Philippine Government on this blog and I have never had any personal experience with its offices until earlier this year – and they were not pleasant ones. I cannot believe how these government employees slack at their jobs and even tell lies just to lessen their workload. Appalling, really. I wonder what would happen if health care providers did the same thing in the Emergency Room, “we’re busy, try next time,” or “oh, that chest pain? can’t do anything ‘bout it. charge it to experience, go home.” That’d be a treat.

I never thought I’d get disillusioned this early in life but right now, I can’t find any words to express my utmost disgust in the bureaucracy. And with the present situation of the president and the country, I have only this to say, “to hell with them all”.

I used to think that things will change for the better, but the idealism in me is slowly dying. I still am a law-abiding citizen and I do what I think is right. And maybe, that’s all that matters.

Hello garci?

Charms

I woke up at around half past two pm today and headed to Philcoa for a late lunch, afterwhich I lingered on a few hours more at McDonalds for dinner.

While waiting, I was reading The Charm School by Nelson DeMille. The girl occupying the table before mine kept glancing back at me trying to catch my eye. Sheez, I’m really that good looking, huh? I was wearing an old shirt and had not bothered to shave and someone was trying to flirt with me. After a few minutes of acting nonchalantly I decided to give her back the stare when,

“Hi, is that a DeMille?”, she asked.

“A what??”

“That book you’re holding. DeMille?” shucks, and I thought it was my drop-dead looks.

“Oh this,” I flipped the cover, “yup, I guess it is. Just picked it up from Booksale for fifty bucks.”

“Good read. I have all of his books.”

“You do? This is my first of his…him…his.” I stuttered. I always get tongue-tied when speaking to someone who speaks straight English. “How many books has he got?” I asked trying to regain control.

“hmm..about eight I think.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

…silence…

“The General’s Daughter, he wrote that,” she added.
“He did?”
“yeah.”

…silence…

“well have a good read”

“thanks.” Oh don’t leave, please don’t leave. Tell me more! Let’s have coffee. Tell me about DeMille. Tell me about you. I’ll listen, promise.

"Bye.”
“Bye, thanks.” shucks.

***
On second thought, yeah, maybe it was my good looks. Bummer.

Recap

Let’s just say it wasn’t the best of days.

I was the only one taking step 1 that day. I was provided a locker in which to put everything I had (bag, coins, wallet, turned off phone). They told me I wasn’t allowed to wear my jacket, so off it went to the locker too. They double checked my name and picture with my ID and gave me a run through of the rules before they let me in to start. My whole exam was videotaped just in case I did something funny.

The exam was composed of 7 blocks with 50 questions each. i had an hour to finish each block and a total of at least 45 minutes for breaktime. When i take my break and how to distribute my alloted break minutes after each block was up to me. I was also provided with earmuffs and some scratch paper. The exam was multiple choice, so it's like choose the best answer: A, B, C, D..(but it doesn't stop there) E, F, G....(not here either)...H, I, J.....(and one went all the way to) K. so much for choices huh?

So I clicked the mouse and got to business. First block was ok and I finished early so I decided to continue on to the second. Now this set had photomicrographs of cells I couldn’t recognize and the questions were just so out of this world. I decided to take a break after that set. I wanted to get to my phone to text people to “PLEASE PRAY HARDER!!”, but again I was told not to use my fone. Went to the bathroom then munched on some chocolates before going back for set 3 which proved to be as difficult as the previous one: Xray plates, CT scans, more photographs and hellow(?) questions. Then I started to sneeze. And sneeze more. My rhinitis had acted up. I didn’t think it would act up today! Then my nose started dripping, but my tissue was locked up and I couldn’t take a break in the middle of the set.

I took another break after set 4. I asked the proctor to please turn the airconditioning down as I was freezing. To cut the story short, sets 2-7 were disasters. I finished at around 3:30 feeling so depressed that I walked from de la costa all the way to greenbelt, went around, walked to the Landmark, went around, walked to glorietta, went around, walked to SM, went around, took the MRT to gateway, walked around some more, took the LRT to SM centerpoint, and walked around. Finally I decided to watch the last full screening of Batman before I headed home at midnight. I called my mom to tell her about my exam. Then I hit the sack, too tired to think about anything but sleep.

Results will be out in six weeks time. I’m just not too excited to know.

dozing off..

i just took a pill to make me sleep (studies say it's not supposed to disrupt sleep architecture so it's safe) and while i'm waiting for the sandman, i decided to blog a bit.

today i tried my best to cram 4 months of reading back into my head. it's already 9pm and there's still a gazillion things i want to review. but i guess i have to stop. there's nothing i can do more with just hours to spare. i keep asking myself, could i have done better? and the answer just comes right back. yes.

so tomorrow's the big day.

God bless me.

I just took a pill to make me sleep. have i told you that already?
zzzzzzzz..........

(oh, question number 1 is: will i be able to wake up early tomorrow? to everyone i know reading this blog, if it's past 8am when you read this, don't bother calling my cellular. either i'm on my way to the exam or still sleeping. and if it's the latter, please let me sleep in bliss. Enter sandman.)

no turning back

Today is supposedly my last day to reschedule my exam date and the anxiety is killing me. At around 4pm, I needed someone to talk to. Part of me wanted to reschedule. Another part of me wanted to get it over with. I’m tired.

I’m only 60% done with my online exams and just the other day, I couldn’t recall what the catalase positive organisms were. That is basic knowledge. I don’t seem to recall a lot of things from my readings. So I’m scared. And I’ve never been more scared of an exam my whole life.

I didn’t know whom to call and I ended up dialing my mom’s phone. Funny how most of the time I find her voice irritating because she’s got this voice that’s really loud, and she can really be annoying, I tell you. But a while ago I longed to hear her voice. And though she didn’t say anything new, it relieved my anxiety for the time being, and for a moment there, I felt alright. I love my mommy.

I hope I don’t disappoint them.

I’m tired.

Lazydog

I have not been attending my Math class for two days now.
Just like the good the old days. nooninooninoo.
maybe if i wake up early tomorrow i just might go to class.
somebody spank me!

First days of class

8:30-9:45 AM, MTTHF. I wake up early to attend my Math class.

All my classmates are 16 year old kids who, I’m sure, think they rule the world having passed the UPCAT and all. Wide eyed geeks with perked up ears to catch the teacher’s punch lines and laugh wholeheartedly when the appropriate reaction to the not-meant-for-you-to-piss-in-your-pants-joke would’ve been a smile.

One girl wears her hair in pigtails, prolly thinks she’s cute lookin like a kid. Remind me to pull on those pigtails one of these days. Maybe 3 or 4 of them have brand new shoes that sparkle, almost makes me want to step on them then run. And all o’ em have notebooks. Sheez, I think that’s where I went wrong. I never kept a notebook. Ok I’l keep that in mind.

Anyway, everything was alright until the teacher explained the grading system. Then the palpitations began.

Then i came to realize that i was with was a BS Statistics block.

So much for pressure.

Bummer.

Math17

Today I attended my first day of class in Math17 at Rm314, Math Building, UP Diliman. I took this Math subject exactly 11 years ago, failed it twice before I passed and went on to Math 53 and 54. But now I’m back to conquer it again. Not that I need to, but I want to. Maybe now i’ll get over my fear of equations.

More on this tomorrow. I’m too sleepy. Nite.

Goodbye, Golden Arches...

Today is a sad day.

Today at 11pm, my favorite McDonald’s branch will be closing down for good.

A few nights ago while studying there, I glanced around looking for something I could take home with me that would remind me of this place before it got leveled down. But there was nothing I could grab that would not be conspicuous to the guard. So I snatched the mcdonald’s tray which held my food (shhhhhhhhh!!) and thrust it into my small bag (it almost didn’t fit!!). Actually I wanted to carry Ronald McDonald all the way home but clowns just scare the sh*t out of me. So I just slapped a high five on his perpetually waiving palm (made sure no one saw me) before I left with an odd shaped knapsack.

I don’t know if I can muster the courage to go there today I might not be able to control my emotions...I might just cry….waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh….ngrsssst.

oh yeah, baby, yeah!

i've reached the 4000 visitors mark!

(i think half of that was just me clicking the refresh button)

enkyu, enkyu guys! i would really appreciate it if you left msgs on my posts. just something to validate your visit :) i enjoy reading your comments (as if naman madami, pero totoo, natutuwa ako pag may comments) sige na! it's just a few more minutes of typing and saying "hi". i NEED friends can't you see??!!! comment or i'll kill myself and you'll forever bear that in your conscience. i will haunt you. i will make poopoocat haunt you too. oh, and i need and ipod, and some brand new shirts, and koreanovela cds, and new sneakers, and a US visa, or a girlfriend with a US visa, or a nurse who's leaving for the US (of course may visa na yan).

oh, and pls. visit this dork's site as well and tell him you like his posts (sige na, kahit kunwari lang, kse nagdradrama na wala daw nag-aapreciate ng site nya, tho he's actually got more visitors). ashushu. just do it, dang!

teka, najejebs nako.