Monday, September 12, 2011


Was it last year when the crackdown on illegal aliens in AZ was started? It was in the news for months.

In the clinic I work in, i have to pass by the a border patrol check point every single day. I have to roll down my windows, produce my passport, and answer a lot of ridiculous questions. Questions sometimes so dumb that I want to just tell them that I'm a US citizen so they'd leave me alone.

BP: Where did you come from?
Me: *smiling* Yuma. (there's only one road here, did you really have to ask?)


BP: Is this a rental car?
Me: *smiling* No. (ran out of questions?)

BP: May I see your passport?
Me: Sure. ( I hand over my passport and he looks at it, can't seem to find what he's looking for, and I know he doesn't know what he's looking for / looking at...takes about 3 minutes scanning that little piece of booklet...then realizes that he doesn't know what he's really looking for / looking at...looks at the stalled cars behind....looks at me sipping my coffee in my car....doesn't know what to do....and waves me over)
BP: OK, have a good day!
Me: Thanks. (and I take my time, take one slow sip, put my cup back onto the cup holder, roll up my window, smile, and drive slow.)

BP: US Citizen?
Me: No. ( i hand my passport)
BP: (looks at it, can't seem to understand what he's looking at, realizes a line is forming...) Please pull over to secondary.
Me: Why?
BP: Just pull over to secondary (secondary is where they ask people to wait, sometimes step out of the car, a lot of times strip the car if their dog smells something)
BP: Just do it.
Me: Why? I pass by here everyday, you still don't know what you're looking for?
BP: Just go to secondary, sir!
Me: OK. (me pulls over to secondary, open my window, sees BP walking towards me)
BP: Here's your passport sir, have a nice day.
Me: (have a nice day my ass.)

BP: where do you work?
Me: At the ********* (and if you actually read what you're holding you would know, and don't give me the excuse that you're just testing me)

BP: US Citizen?
Me: No (i'm the doctor that you consulted for a nasty rash on your groin the other day. btw, how is it? passed it on to your wife yet?)

BP: US Citizen?
Me: No (and i'm the same person you stopped yesterday)

Me: (driving my honda civic)
BP: Stop. US Citizen?
Me: No. (i'm asian. in a civic)

Me: (driving my friend's BMW SUV)
BP: Have a good day!

Me and Friend: (driving in a Hummer)
BP: Have a good day!

Me: (back in my civic)
BP: US Citizen? Passport?

BP: Citizenship?
Me: Filipino.
BP: Pacquiao! Have a good day!
Me: (eing?)

BP: Citizenship?
Me: Filipino
BP: Anow eng iyowng nasyownelided? Tema be?
Me: Teme ke!
BP: so when is Pacquiao gonna fight Mayweather?
Me: I don't know *small talk?*. Hey, i'm late.
BP: Good day!

lasing lang.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

taenang power tripper yung sa pang apat! sarap bayagan e! :))


1:50 AM  
Blogger Jellie Dawn said...

Haha, had fun reading this. Border Patrol must have mastered sterotyping people with their cars.

11:36 PM  
Anonymous jr3 said...

citizenship. filipino. pacquiao. winner! :D

2:26 PM  
Blogger Keith said...

This made me laugh with the petty insanity of the guards. Hope not all your ways are blocked by such folk. Gate keepers they are called in mythic storytelling, gatekeepers the Hero always gets past.

Just another trial on the path.

3:50 PM  
Blogger duke said...

pilimon. Oi buhay ka pa! hehehe. musta, parekoy?! oo mahilig sila mag trip trip. buwisit nga eh. may blog ka pa?

Jellie Dawn. I guess they're trained to do that and make it appear that they are not. :P

Jr3. Winner talaga.

Keith. an everyday trial. and about 3 days after i wrote this post, i got pulled over to secondary for 25 freaking minutes! gaaaaaaah!

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(miwa likes this post)
parang mga pulis lang dito ah. minus da kotong lang.

4:18 PM  
Blogger Tani said...

Funny post, Don Duke. :) Kala ko nun nakita ko BP at swastika, blood pressure mo topic. Napabasa tuloy ako. Buti you always keep your cool. Nakakataas ng BP pala mga BP.

2:40 AM  
Blogger Bien Venido said...

Okay. This made my day. LOL.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Gregg D'Bully said...

hahhahah... that is funny. Glad I was out of the US after they made all these crackdowns. Not that I was an illegal alien but I think I'd get into trouble with my katarayan.

Nice one, dude! Doc?

5:55 AM  
Blogger duke said...

Miwa. maybe you need to update na din your blog. ;P

Tani. you should know me better about keeping my cool. i don't.

Bien Venido. glad to make your day.

Gregg. lucky you. just in AZ tho.

2:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

[ View Guestbook ] [ Sign Guestbook ]
Get a FREE guestbook here!

Free Web Counter