Rage

The past few weeks have been disappointing and filled with series of unfortunate events. I’m a trusting person. You don’t earn my trust, I give it.

Weeks ago, I was hired by a private contractor, together with 2 of my doctor friends to do an annual physical examination on teachers in the province. I was supposed to receive a certain amount for the 2 weeks of hardwork. But we were never paid. I came back to manila with barely enough cash to last me a week and nothing to pay my cellular bill. He promised to send it through the bank. And he did send us money…. 1/7th of our supposed wage. We were nice people to deal with.

Last week, I heard a magbobote shouting for bottles from my window. It’s about time I disposed off the bottles under the sink, i thought. I asked him to come in to collect them as I didn’t want my hands to get dirty. So he got all the bottles out and counted them. He gave me six pesos for them all. I boasted about it to my sis, and she had only this to say...”niloko ka”.

The other day I was on my way to espana from roxas blvd. The driver asked me which way I wanted to go, I told him, “bahala ka na, ung pinakamabilis”..and he drove directly to Quirino avenue where traffic was obviously very heavy. Behind me, taft avenue was clear with cars driving around fast. And we were stuck the whole stretch of that damn avenue. I felt I was robbed. And he didn’t give me my exact change, instead he kept some for himself. He said it was for the traffic we just encountered.

Today I attended a convention for my mom at the PICC where I had to shave off my goatee to look presentable. I left my backpack with my PDA inside in my seat while I went out to shop for freebees. When I came back, it was nowhere to be found. My P36,000-worth PDA gone, just like that.

You may call it stupidity but please don’t blame me for being so trusting. I have always believed that people are naturally good. I have always gone out of my way to help people. I cannot imagine how people can be so cruel and dishonest. I can only ask why. Right now I am angry, fuming mad to be exact. To jeri, who didn’t pay us for the job well done, I will see to it that your license be revoked and you end up in jail. And I will make sure you regret ever meeting me, you ugly faggot! To the magbobote, i don’t know what to say to you. I will leave you out this time. To the taxi driver, fuck you. And fuck you more! You will never, ever be more than what you are now. And you will die a taxi driver. Fuck you!!! To all the thieves, may you never taste luxury in your lifetime may all of you starve to your death, scums of the earth!!!!. To GT who used to rub his knuckles on my head back in high school whenever he felt like it, go to hell! I didn’t feel any sympathy for you when your father died, asshole! To B of the OB dept, who gave me 5 days of SP while doing my rotation with them, you’ve got a fat ass you know that? And the long hairs on your legs, and you think you’re pretty? People kiss you fat ass because you’re the chief resident but please don’t even think that you’re good. It was by default that you got that position, you stupid piece of shit!! and to the cat who shits everyday in front of our door, pusanginamo!!! i will kill you once i get my hands on you!!!

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I’m sorry. Pent-up emotions just overflowing. Really sorry for this entry.
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Lucky Me

Sleepy Jo.

I got refracted today. Prolly get my glasses on Friday. And get this, I acquired it for free, lucky me (pansit kanton). Yups, for the past two days I scored 2 free lunches, one at Greenbelt, another at Robinsons galleria, and free spectacles. Not bad, eh? I’ve even gotten Lucky her month’s supply of catfood (shifted to the repacked ones coz they’re a lot cheaper). Great.

I’m growing my hair long. But I think I already need a haircut. A little bit longer and I would be blamed for the terrorist bombings in the city. I’m trying to grow a goatee again. My friends don’t like it saying I look dirty. But we don’t get to see each other often so wadahek.

cya later, crocodiles.

(parang walng kwenta ang entry na 'to)

failed.

I’m writing this a few minutes after I sent my dad the text message.

I have gone three whole months without having to ask for financial support with my new found freedom. I finally got that burden off my dad’s shoulders, or so I thought. But after much struggle, it finally as come to this.

Sorry dad. I didn’t know life would be this cruel. I am sad. I am frustrated. I can’t figure out why I have always been on the losing end of things. All this time I was thinking of finally being able to save up to buy you and mom a brand new car, to send you off to Canada to see your granddaughter, to buy you the house you’ve always wanted. I’ve always wanted to be able to give you your whole month’s supply of your expensive, high-end maintenance drug. Not that you require me to, or that I am obliged to, or that you can’t afford it yourself, but because I want to. It’s my own little way of saying thank you. I guess it won’t happen soon. I guess it will take longer than expected. But it will. I’ll make sure to that.

I have been denying myself of a lot of luxury with the meager amount I earn, thinking that this was just a start and that this too shall pass. But it seems like I can’t even afford to pay my own phone bill. My wallet is almost empty and I have barely enough cash to get me through two more days. I was determined to make it on my own. And it’s just too difficult to finally admit that I was failing. I am failing.

Money to pay my bills is coming tomorrow. Courtesy of dad.

Life without Manet (or monet?)

warcraft. i won!! i won!!

It has been a month and 15 days since manet (or monet) left us. And we are surviving. I have lost a few more pounds for the simple reason that I don’t have breakfast or lunch to wake up to. My usual rice for lunch has been reduced to a cup of the cereal drink Nesvita, the last packet of which was consumed this morning. More often than not, i eat only once a day. My gallbladder must be starting to produce stones. We’ve gone back to eating tuna sardines, tuna kaldereta, tuna afritada, and all other tunas you can name. For dinner, I usually eat at mcdonalds. That saves me the dishes to wash.

Our “kaldero” transforms into a microcosm of organisms of all sorts when our maids run off. Yes, I think we are the only household on this earth without a rice cooker. We have seen cooked rice transform into sweaty rice, into foamy rice, into slimy rice, then into green mush, before we say, “oh, it’s time to wash the kaldero”.

The house is still a mess. Nothing new there. But it’s cleaner now that the maid has gone, surprisingly. The laundry is a different thing. I just spoiled 3 of my favorite G2000 shirts together with my cuz and sis’ clothes. I gave them a new tie-dyed look courtesy of my red shirt. I’ve learned to hang my shirts after donning them for a few hours if only to reuse them days later…err…I’ve read somewhere that they clean themselves if left alone…or not. Only until the smell of the clothes’ conditioner wears of is the shirt due for laundry. That’s my new motto.

Manet (or monet), wherever you are, whatever your future endeavors are, I hope you break a leg. No pun intended.

Scarlet

the beach

Vday. Even the Friendster layout has turned red and pink. But it’s just another ordinary day for me, as usual. Note the absence of sarcasm in this. i volunteered to wash the dishes.

Have fun, make sure u use freshly bought rubber and not the ones stuck forever in your wallets. And don’t stain the sheets! Sheez.

And for those who have none, well…er…..be merry? (la ako masabi eh. Hehehe.) Ikain na lang natin to mga tol.

bente pesos

Callao Caves, Penablanca, Cagayan

Pagbaba ko ng jeep, “mama, kung pede lang po, makikihingi ho sana ng pamasahe namin,” sambit ng aleng hawak hawak ang kamay ng isang bata sa tapat ng simbahan ng Sto. Domingo. Hmm, parang nangyari na to saken dati. Tinanong ko kung bakit wala silang pamasahe. Sinabi nya galling pa daw silang Malabon at binisita daw nila kapatid nya pero di sila nagkita…at wala na silang pamasaheng pabalik. Hmmm, parehong sagot sa natanggap ko dati. Tinalikuran ko na. Inumpisahan kong umakyat sa overpass.

Paglingon ko, andun pa din silang mag-ina, nakatayo. Gabi na nun. Mejo wala nang tao sa kalye. Kainis kainis kainis!! Ayoko ng ganito, ayoko! Bumaba ulit ako. Tanong ko, “di nyo ako niloloko?”. Sabi nya, “ hindi po, sa malabon po talga kami nakatira at wala na kaming pamasahe”.

Dinukot ko ang wallet ko, may bente pa. pamasahe ko bukas sana. Iniabot ko sa ale, “sana po hindi nyo ako niloloko. Hindi po kase ako mayaman at di ko pinupulot ang pera. Eto ho, sana makauwi na kayo.” Sabay talikod at tumakbo paakyat ng overpass mejo nag-aantay tumambad saken ang aking fairy godmother na kamuka nung aleng kumuha ng beinte pesos ko. Pero wala. Plip na ata ako. Natanaw ko silang mag-ina na nag-aantay ng jeep. Sana nakauwi sila nang maayos. Sana di sila nanloloko. Sana may mahanap akong barya para pamasahe ko bukas.

The Culprit

Aha!! Finally! After hours of waiting with my camera, at 6am today, I finally got a shot of the culprit!

Jasper

Meet jasper, my sister’s fighting fish. His little bowl is usually filled with water up to about an inch below the brim. However, much to our bewilderment, that little bowl of his needs to be refilled everyday as the water levels dips down to about three-fourths only. How could this be? Maybe that little fish just drinks a lot. But if that’s the case, he should pee a lot too. No, it cant be that. Evaporation maybe. Nah, too fast.
The answer to this perplexity came while I was in front of the computer. I heard some lapping noise. I turned around to see Lucky. Drinking from the fishbowl.

Aral aral

Taken at a fishing village in Claveria, Cagayan

Kelangan ko na mag-aral para sa MLE. Nag-usap kami ng kapatid ko sa YM kagabi at sabi nya kelangan ko daw pagbutihin ang step1 ko. kung hindi daw maganda ang kakalabasan nun, e di na daw nya babayaran step 2 ko. At itigil ko na daw ung mga raket ko para full time review ako. Nge, pano na ang mga bayarin ko? Magpapadala daw sya kada buwan sa bangko ko para sa gastusin. Tinanggihan ko. beinte sais na ako. Gusto ko kumita ng sarili kong pera para mabili ko ang mga luho ko. ngayon lang naman ako kumikita. di naman ata nya maintindihan un.

I'm Back!

Christian, joan, and I relax during the weekend.

It’s been two weeks. I’ve been going from town to town in the province doing annual physical examinations on public school teachers and although it was tiring, doing it was just great. The team I was with was composed of 3 doctors (me included), two med techs, an xray technician (who was just too dumb to care about radiation), an administrative officer (whom we actually could do without), a finance officer (who was better at washing dishes than doing the money thingey), a team leader (who looked more like a full blown AIDS patient and, and who screwed things up pretty much), and about 5 buhat boys who drank Emperador brandy every night. Nevertheless, joan, Christian, and I, made the best out of everyday by giving our patients satisfactory consults. Might be heading back on Monday.