failed.

I’m writing this a few minutes after I sent my dad the text message.

I have gone three whole months without having to ask for financial support with my new found freedom. I finally got that burden off my dad’s shoulders, or so I thought. But after much struggle, it finally as come to this.

Sorry dad. I didn’t know life would be this cruel. I am sad. I am frustrated. I can’t figure out why I have always been on the losing end of things. All this time I was thinking of finally being able to save up to buy you and mom a brand new car, to send you off to Canada to see your granddaughter, to buy you the house you’ve always wanted. I’ve always wanted to be able to give you your whole month’s supply of your expensive, high-end maintenance drug. Not that you require me to, or that I am obliged to, or that you can’t afford it yourself, but because I want to. It’s my own little way of saying thank you. I guess it won’t happen soon. I guess it will take longer than expected. But it will. I’ll make sure to that.

I have been denying myself of a lot of luxury with the meager amount I earn, thinking that this was just a start and that this too shall pass. But it seems like I can’t even afford to pay my own phone bill. My wallet is almost empty and I have barely enough cash to get me through two more days. I was determined to make it on my own. And it’s just too difficult to finally admit that I was failing. I am failing.

Money to pay my bills is coming tomorrow. Courtesy of dad.