Fineaffol

June 21. Formal evening.

Catherine: Dr. Duke! you look so handsome in your pineapple!!
Me: huwaa?!

ay. nakabarong pala ako.

palaging hit ang barong ko dito sa mga formal gatherings eh. Lahat sila gustong pisilin yung barong ko. Feeling ko tuloy pang show-and-tell ako palagi. Tapos palagi nila pinapaulet saken kung pano bigkasin yung barong. Uulitin ng mga kano, "Bawong. I like your bawong. Where can i buy a bawong? " Tapos uulitin ng mga espanyol, "Bahrrrowwng." hanep. hayup.

ang di nila alam eh iisa lang ang barong ko. at etong barong na pinipisil pisil nila eh parehong barong na pinisil pisil din nila last year. (na hindi pa ata nalalabhan, but tenks to Hugo boss na mabango). Akchali, nakuha ko lang tong barong na ito kse nag-abay ako sa kasal. ang cheap ko.

pero aliw pa din sila. parang palaging first time nila nakikita palagi. parang mga baliw.

Ang barong. Bow. Proudly, philippine made.

Close?

In the clinic while i was typing in my patient's medication, he suddenly blurts out...

"Hey doctor, you sure are growing a tummy right there."

...
...


Panalo.

Buwisit.

All in 2 Weeks

What can go wrong in 2 weeks?

Lemme tell you.

1. I woke up one morning, showered, dressed, walked out to my car only to see this.






Of course i immediately checked the glove compartment and the spot in between the front seats where i keep things....nothing missing. There was still $30 in there. Whew.

...hmm...So why would the asshole break my car window and not take anything? Anyway, that window would cost me $252.00 to replace later that day. Kaching! Kaching!!


2. So i walk back into the house announcing to everyone..."my car window has been smashed...but they didn't take anything."

Then my sister asks...."how about jill?"


Shit! i run back. How could i forget jill?! of course, she wasn't on the dashboard anymore. They abducted her!!! waaaaaa!!! There goes my $600 GPS. Kaching! Kaching!!




I knew i wouldn't surive without a GPS so i bought a new jill that cost me $292. Kaching! Kaching!!




3. I called work that i wasn't going to make it to the hospital today. So i went to the dealership to have my window replaced ($252). And since i was already there, i also went in the for the scheduled maintenance of my car. I had the new window tinted and they found something wrong with my right front wheel which they repaired. Maintenance cost: $290. Kaching! Kaching!!


4. Days later, i went to the bathroom to pee. when i bent down, i saw my phone slide from my breast pocket in to the yellow sea in front of me...which was of course my fresh, warm pee. I saw it all in slow motion. i also saw my hands go for the phone , also in slow motion. Plok plok! That phone cost me...oh, it was a gift. It was the first phone i ever owned that had a camera and bluetooth.


I needed a phone, so i got the same model and bought some casing with it for added protection. I don't think they sold one that was urine-proof. Cost me $42 for the replacement. Kaching! Kaching!!





5. I was driving my sister's CRV along harborside, when i saw this black CRV (same model) drive up alongside me. I looked to see that the driver was this lady with short, chic, black hair, and wearing big dark sunglasses. She sped up. I stepped on the gas to catch up and took a second look. She looked at me....looked back on the road and then smiled to herself. the smile was strange though, sort of the smile you do when you knowingly face defeat...so i smiled to myself also and turned my attention back to the road.

and i saw why she had that resigned smile.

two policemen on motorcycles, one beaming a radar on my car. we were both running 11mph above the speed limit.

so there, two CRVs being trailed by two cops on motorcycles along harborside.

The ticket would have cost me $200 but i chose to take the defensive driving course instead. it cost me $108 plus $25 registration fee. Kaching! Kaching!!


6. I felt hungry. i saw some cup noodles in the cupboard and decided to heat one in the microwave. open microwave, insert cup with water and cover, close microwave, set to 1.5minutes, start. ZZZZZzzzzzzzz....i smell smoke....i see smoke....where there is smoke there is fire...is that fire i see? Yes, it was fire.

the underside of the cupnoodles' cover was made of foil.



All in two weeks y'all!


************


Oh and then two weeks later, i woke up late, missed my flight to Colorado, and paid $308 for a new ticket. Kaching! Kaching!!




I am soo not eating this month.



Hmm...
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