Back from Hell

Newborn Hell.

No Fun.

I spent the whole month in my newborn nursery rotation.

It's not fun when during your first call night, you get paged to the stand so you run to the labor and delivery room to catch your baby. but you find out that your badge doesn't open the doors. To add insult to injury, your meal card has no money in it, and you got no access to the electronic medical records. bummer.

It's not fun waking up at 5.30am to start rounding on at least 50 babies every single day and getting called to the stand when you still have a million things to do.

It's not fun getting shouted at by nurses just because you're new and don't know how they run things there.

It's not fun when your senior resident and co-interns, all US grads, think you're incompetent.

It's not fun when your senior resident makes faces and mouths words to your co-intern about you. (if she was pretty, maybe it'd be more bearable, but making faces with a face like that? just kill me and i'd be happier.)

It's not fun when the nurses try to challenge your knowledge.

It's not fun when even the med students don't trust you.

It's not fun when you're treated as an outsider. Soo not fun.

It's not fun when during your weekend call you do bili clinic and discharges and transition by yourself. and you just want to cry. and you find out that you got screwed because somebody should have been there working with you but didn't show up.

i thought carrying a pager was cool. now i just want to flush mine, plus the stand pager, down the toilet.

Really, had a friend given me a hug, i would have cried. (buti na lang wala akong friend friend dito)

***

But it gets better.

It's rewarding when your faculty says that you're doing great. (And when your senior remarks that you are doing great, you just answer,"you're just saying that." and you it's your turn to give her the smirk.)

It is rewarding when your faculty has gotten feedback that the nurses enjoy working with you. Two of them actually call you their boyfriend.

It is heartwarming that the charge nurse would write your orders for you and line up your charts for you to sign. You can bet she doesn't do that for any other resident. Then you know that you have been accepted into their circle. (I never saw the one who shouted at me tho. maybe she rammed her car into a tree or something.)

It's touching when your transition nurses buy you a soda because they know that you didn't have time to go down to the cafeteria to get dinner.

It's refreshing to go to the clerk's office and see her hair change from a fro to braids and to a hundred other hairstyles, and get a good laugh with her funny antics.

It's reassuring to have the ISCU transport nurse who is nice to you be by your side everytime you are called to the stand, call you sweetheart and give you a piece of her cinnamon cake when you're too busy to get lunch.

It is reassuring when your faculty tells you that you will get a good evaluation.

***

somehow, everything turned out ok. it could have been the worst rotation, but hey, it's not all that bad. If there's something i'll be missing, it'll be the nurses. But i keep telling them it's gonna be the other way around.

Thank God. I survived.