The Hunt Is On
I have been looking for 2 roommates for over a month now. I have posted flyers and have registered online at roommates.com and easyroommates.com.So far, here are my matches. you might find them amusing.
---------
48, Male, Single.
"I am clean and sober."
Errrr...I don't think I would like a roommate who uses those words to describe himself.
50, Male.
"Currently healing a broken heart. I just came out of a relationship."
Ummm....no?
46, Female, Smoker.
"Jobless."
I need someone to help me with the mortgage, meaning...will..pay..rent?
36, Female, professional.
"i own 1 rare breed of dog and 2 old cats"
No.
wait, It gets better!
26, Female, Model
"I am from Cyprus and will be going to the USA to start modeling contract. I am willing to send deposit to secure the place. Do you accept bank cheques?"
huwaw! model!!! Sure sure! Come on down!! me waiting.
28F, Nurse
"Born and bred in france, i speak french fluently so i can teach you the language.Lived all my life in Paris until mom died and had to move to S. Dakota.I served in the Paris Red Cross for 8 months,we have involved in projects that includes orphans,orphanages, heart related diseases in children betweeen the ages of 4-10yrs"
How sweet...What a saint...of course i write her back giving details of the house and utility bills.
She writes back.
"I have a sick uncle back in France that I need to see first but I will secure the place with a
deposit. Do you accept bank cheques?"
hmm...sounds familiar.
29, Male, Professional
"I own a company here in London and am planning to branch out in the USA. I will need a place to stay. Your place is just perfect. I would want to take it and am willing to pay in advance. Do you accept bank cheques?"
hmmm..something sounds familiar. and i get 11 similar emails in one day. All of them are from all parts of the world wanting to be my roommate. and they all want to secure the place with bank cheques.
verdict: I have proven, many times, that... I am hot. everybody wants to room in with me.
i google their email messages and scam scam scam is written all over. i play with some and send back innocent emails and they actually respond! They tell me their goals in life, their saintly vocations and their Christian backgrounds. after a few messages, they just stop writing back.
oh well,
i need roommates y'all!!!
****
akchali, may mga b*mbay din nagemail. pero syimpri ayoko kse dumidikit amoy nun sa mga dinging. not nice yun.
****
picture above is a view of my hallway from my old room.
****
akchali, may mga b*mbay din nagemail. pero syimpri ayoko kse dumidikit amoy nun sa mga dinging. not nice yun.
****
picture above is a view of my hallway from my old room.
posted by duke at 1:15 PM
24 Comments:
hahaha pansin ko nga madami gustong makipag room mate sayo...thanks to the websites...hihi
yung katabi ko bombay...ang baho!huhuhu :(
i like the model and ms french red cross! don and hot together is hard to swallow... hehehe
what's the correlation between bank cheques and scams? im curious :)
doc duke. all i can say is INGAT!!!!
do u accept bank cheques? hahahaah ingat lang. WORST CASE SCENARIO :D
hehehe. ayus un ah. =))
ako na lang! kaso ala ako pambayad. makikitira lang ako.
hehe!ang saya naman!;)
dok duke, ingat ka. baka pati si miss universe at miss usa, mag-apply na flatmates mo. tsk! masyado kang mapapagot at naka-wheelchair ka paglabas ng apartment mo. uubusin nila ang lakas mo.
wish mo nga pala iyon, di ba?
ingat. interview them well. katakot. baka nakawin ang kaisa-isa mong barong. hehe.
Gahhh... why just now? Where were you when I was hunting for a place to live while I go to school at UTMB? I sign my apartment lease on Friday. Boo.
Do you live on the west or east end of the island? How far from UTMB? Filipina roommate ok?
Oh, btw, you should do a background check on your future roommates... FBI fingerprinting and all. Oh, and proof of income (i.e., last 2 pay stubs).
ako ba pwedeng maa aaply as your room mate?
teka dok, inilagay mo din ba na kailangan mo nang tagapag-alaga? Kasi diba nasanay ka na andyan sister mo? hehehe.
teka, bakit puro matatanda ata yung nag-aaply. Check mo lang yung mga background nila. meron ako friend dito, kumuha ng boarder, hala malikot pala ang kamay. lahat ng mobile phone nila sa bahay nawala.
ayon sa aking delusional self, ito ay private message pa sa akin. hehehe
do you accept bank cheques?
:D
duke, i'm willing to be your roommate, just send me the money for air fare.
uh yeah, i accept bank cheques *wink
this reminds me of the movie SINGLE WHITE FEMALE. syempre yung mga age group lang natin ang nakakaalam nyan. hahahahaha!
pag ako nag-apply sa yo, ganito ang introduction:
Single, Filipino Male, 34 years old, with stable job. Hates take out but can cook one hell of a meal. Loves taking pictures. If you choose me as a roommate, you will also have your own chef and photographer. And if you decide to swing the other way, I can also be a potential boyfriend who can give mind-blowing back and foot rubs...and so much more (smiles devilishly)
hoy, basta mag-ingat ka. baka mabalitaan na lang namin sa cnn, sini-CSI ka na jan. hugs hugs, duke!
Mabuti at magaling ang screening mo ng roommates. Importante ay malinis, maganda, at nagbabayad ng renta. (Not necessarily in that order. Hehehe)
buti na lang pala and you aren't taken with snazzy responses at first glance. they do sound spam-ic ;-) goodluck finding a roomie! i had one once, and we remain good firends til now, but i've heard tons of horror stories from people with unkknown roomies. keep yourself safe! cheers!
p.s. naisip ko lang, the guy who owns a company, if he is legit, he wouldn't be looking for an apt to share, he'd look for a place of his own diba?
sabihin mo dun sa cypriot model at sa frrrrrrrrench nurse na dito sa amin me bakanteng kuwarto. me heater, electric blanket, me hot water at kung wala ang lahat andito ako, mainit. hehehe.
pero dude, este duke...paki-explain yung scam sa cheque...
duke, i'l help you with the marketing ploys, eh marketing officer lang naman ako (d masyadung mayabang). hehehe. try mo tv ad (d masyadung mahal) in just one spot maraming ng tatawag sayo. hahaha.
tener un gran día, Dukes. :)
hayyy..kung malapit lang sana ako dyan baka pwede narin akong mag-apply, matanda rin ako e. kasi gusto ko rin sanang magrelax na . pagod na ako. Joke..
female/professional
have just gotten a job as a nurse in your area and i need a place to stay. Your place is perfect!
i am willing to secure deposit. do you accept blank cheques?
ganun ba kadali kumuha ng matutuluyan jan? kakatakot naman maghanap ng roommate.
where u at?
oy, pasko na! (familiar ba?)
Yvonne. bantotski.
Jo. yes, don and hot are synonymous.
Popoy. Nag iingat ako! safe sex!
ka bute. ayus nga.
kero. kelangan ko ng magbabayad. pero dahil pwend kita, lika dito, tabi tayo.
nyl. akchali, di na sya masaya at mahal masyado ang mortgage. hehehe.
atticus. errrmmm...wla na interbyu eh. wahahaha. wala nang question and answer portion. swimsuit category na!!
judyannmarie. i live in a house just two blocks away from the hospital. I've got two prospects na and one actually signed the contract na. had you made your presence felt earlier, one room could have been yours. ;p
prinsesa000. apply na! please send in full body picture with jolibi.
jho. di talaga ako tatanggap ng matatanda no. anuka, ganyan na sila katatanda eh room for rent pa din hinahanap nila? may mali ata dun.
utakmunggo. come ober here you sexy womannn! dito ka, roomies tayo. wag mo sama anak mo. hahahahah.
rheiboy17. errrr....mas mahal ata yung plane fare mo kesa sa singil ko. hehehehe. lika na dito.
jerome.parang nagulantang ako dun sa mind-blowing. hahahahahah. bastush. akchali, ako yung killer roommate. lulutuin ko sila at stock ko sila sa freezer ko. wahahhahaa.
panaderos. kelangan maganda talaga isa sa criteria no? hahaha. tama ka dyan. malinis, maganda, or magandang maganda, at mapera. solb.
caryn. ang seryos ng comment! hahaha.
friedchicken. sige, forward ko sa kanila blog mo. lagot ka, istoker na naman yan. yung bank cheques mejo matagal kse iclear yun ng bank. magpapadala sila ng malaking halaga tapos hihingi sila ng sukli nila. eh since di mo maantay yung bank na magclear eh iisyuhan mo sila ng cheke ng sukli nila. tapos peke pala yung binigay sayo. ayun. tanga ka.
panyangbalani. mejo OA yung TV ad. at mahal yun. hahahaha.
nanaybelen. mukhang magaling ka naman magluto, lika na!!!
abi. oo, ganun din kadaling magscam. buti na lang di ako tanga. mejo lang.
ely. i'm at home.
rheiboy17. aba, linya ko yan. meri krismas! demanding!
cheke.
ayus.
i do accept bank cheques. ehehe
tinanggap mo yung model?
doctor ka? huwaw! let's be friends. gusto ko mga blogger friends na doktor. ahaha.
Post a Comment
<< Home