Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Lives 5...4...3...2...

Posted by Hello

For lives 9, 8, 7, and 6, pls refer to this entry.

Last week, my cuz and I finally mustered the courage to clean our front door. There were like mounds and mounds of smelly cat poo that we kept on retching while at it. After what seemed like forever, the spots were clean.

Of course we were rewarded with fresh stock smack right in the same spot the next morning. I was fuming mad, really really mad. I started to prepare the milk with all your suggested ingredients (thank you for your friendly pieces of murderous advice). I ground the 5mg Coumadin tablet (yes, I went back to the hospital just for this), a 500mg tab of paracetamol, and 500mg tab of Ibuprofen and dissolved them in the milk. (I’m guessing that this will get lives 5,4,3 and maybe nail that SOB) I then ventured in front of our building where poopoo cat usually lazes under the sun. I waited for about 2 hours before she finally appeared.

Lives 5, 4 and 3. But did she drink of my deadly potion? She took a sip, and that was it! She lay there beside the milk and stretched under the sun and licked herself! Sheez! Drink you wicked cat!! I waited until the heat of the sun was unbearable. And then she slept. *@#*&!!!!

Life 2. Well this equally evil neighbor who was watching me the whole time suggested I smash her head with a rock. That idea lit up light bulbs in my head! Why not?? *evil sneer* So I picked a big rock, which picture I’m not gonna show you, lest you hate me for being so brutal. But I really didn’t care because at that moment, to kill was my main goal. So I crept up beside her with the rock raised over my head, ready to whack her brains out. But she woke up and the rock ended up landing on her shoulder blades instead. I thought she would die right there and then as I put all of my strength in that throw. She ran. Don’t ask me. I couldn’t believe it either. Poo poo cat IS the devil incarnate.


Blogger gypsy said...

believe it or not, the cat IS NOT destined to die in your hands. you are a doctor for pete's sake. so i hope you take my advise. make another bait to make the cat sleep. catch the cat and put it in a dark bag or whatever you wanna use. take a walk, ride a jeepney, take the bus or whatever and just go somewhere far from your house.
there. leave it there. done.

5:49 AM  
Blogger kero said...


12:37 AM  
Blogger kramer said...

masama kang tao!!!

bad ka! baaaad!

4:25 AM  
Blogger tsutsugamushi said...

cool, man, cool!

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

doc, that mutant poo-poo kitty is a he. see, he has balls.

11:06 AM  
Blogger duke said...

oh sheez! you're right! she is a he!!

kero...oo evil ako.
tsutsugamushi....heheh, kewl ko.

1:56 AM  
Anonymous van said...

Isa kang Patch Adams!!!!!! :P

(alam kong hindi ka matitinig kapag "murderer" itatawag ko sa iyo...ahehehe)

4:15 AM  

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